Prompt: ...He was shocked to find...
He was shocked to find a majestic beast. A coat pure as snow, eyes blue as the ocean, the beasts muscular feature stood strong. Lord Nulth stood confused. " You have done a great injustice" the beast spoke. A loud screeching echoed through the dark lair. "What are you?" A look of terror swept the room. They knew who this was. The guards eyes burned a fiery red. King Matias whispered three words " You must pay." He let out a roar causing the roof crumble then fall. Lord nulth died. The animals were set free from the curse and no one saw King Matias ever again.
Hi Cara,
ReplyDeleteI'm impressed!
The descriptions and the language that you have used are excellent. You could improve this my making sure the correct punctuation is always used, e.g. You used ! When a ? Should have been i. It's place.
Well done and good luck for future entries.
Mr Eitel-Smith, Pewithall Primary, Runcorn, England and Team 100wc
Well done Cara, your opening is very descriptive and you have chosen some superb imagery and figurative language to help the reader picture the majestic beast.
ReplyDeleteJust take a moment to read back through your writing to check that your reader is not left confused - was the majestic beast called King Matias?
Keep up the fabulous writing.
Mrs Williams (Team 100WC) Leicester, UK
thank-you for your helpful comments I will try and work on that.
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